Chill Out

mumbler is exhausted. she has spent seven straight days in the hospital, two of which were half calls, and after a short break tonight, will be back again for her last five days in sip. this morning she was astonished to take a glance at the clock to see that four hours had passed since she stepped into the ward. where does time go in the wards?! and the *ahem* perks i was expecting yesterday didn't materialise, probably because i only finished my changes at noon.

had some bits of recreation this week - meeting up with a good friend for dinner, and post-jci party/lunch at st james' power station. am being sounded out for a gathering next weekend, but i'll just have to see if i should choose sleep over it.

had my half call last night, and it was quite interesting since the people admitting the patients i clerked were my favourite folks in the a&e. even more exciting was to work through the presenting complaint and find that the a&e senior had thought of the same differentials. haha. of note was a chronic alcoholic with multiples AORs who had hepatomegaly and an hiv-positive patient who complained of generalised weakness. the latter case was very challenging, because of the nature of his disease, and the inability of either he or the family to give a really good history.

my latest ga-ga-ness (known to only a few people so far) has gotten me reading jane austen's pride and prejudice again. love that book - great characterisation, great story, and great romance, not to mention austen's sharp and witty writing. here are some quotes from the book:

"It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples."

"Nothing is more deceitful ... than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast."

"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."

and i'll just the post the link to the video of one of my favourite songs of 2008, indeed that i've ever heard. i associate it with my a&e posting, and listening to it triggers memories of the my time spent flitting from patient to patient in the cramped p2 area (before the lodger ward was opened), ordering macs at 4am and working on my project in the basement. i really really miss those days.

this is sara bareilles' love song. here's the unofficial video:


Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
Breathing gets harder, even I know that
Made room for me it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

Chorus:
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today, today yeah

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you wanna hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

Chorus

Bridge:
Promise me that you'll leave the light on
To help me see, with daylight my guide gone
Cause I believe there's a way
You can love me because I said
I won't write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this

Is that why you wanted a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason to
Write you a love song today today yeah yeah yeah