med school mumblings...

Saturday, January 27, 2007

we treat, God heals.

this whole medical thing is becoming real, too real. as we whine our way up the medicine ladder, complain about how the Higher Ups could think that we were fine with bringing forward our exams, we tend to forget what we were in this profession for.

amidst the "chaos" of chp and the exam fracas, two events, happening a week apart, have forced me to relook my intended path. right now i'm in the middle of my medical education, having progressed enough to begin to understand the challenges of the job but sufficiently far away from graduation to sit easy, but the questions come up again : why am i here? what do i want out of being a doctor?

on the surface, my answers would probably be the same as those i gave at the interview three years ago, but now, they hold a deeper meaning for me. as i learn more, i carry a greater responsibility to the people around me. when will i be ready to carry that full responsibility? and will i ever?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

what a day.

first of all, i was down with a cold which started yesterday morning while in the computer lab but got worse when more changes were made to the project. had a fever yesterday and today, so had to pass the research paper team's ktv outing.

second, got news of someone's medical condition. twice in one week. once again, i'm reminded where my priorities should lie, and the reasons why i chose this career.

third, our exams have been brought forward by a week. the reasons given included that of the vivas clashing with our clinical postings and that some of my classmates had apparently requested for it to be brought forward. given the reasons cited, why wasn't the change made earlier? why did they have to wait till a month before the exam to spring it on us? i distinctly remember that for last year's part two exams, they changed the venue to the affliliated high school because the exam hall was infested with termites. are you seeing a pattern here?

Friday, January 19, 2007

it's been a roller coaster two weeks. managed to rush off the questionnaire last monday so that my group could begin the survey proper on tuesday. the surveyors have been working real hard, pounding on doors and sweet-talking the ah peks in clementi to let us measure their height, weight, blood pressure and bellies. the weather hasn't been very co-operative - in the first few days it poured, and later the sun came out in full force. no wonder several of them fell sick.

i've been sampling a bit of everything in this project, starting with the literature review during the hols and starting work on the paper at the same time as the survey. i joined the surveyors for two nights and marvelled at how disinterested and kind singaporeans can be. quite a few slammed doors in our faces, but there were also a handful of families who welcomed us and gave us ribena and packet drinks. singaporean kiddies can be quite charming too. one little girl gave us her whole life story (all six years of it), offered her father's mobile number without our asking, and entertained us with songs from high school musical. another kid gave me a few pokes in my belly through the gate before running back into his room in peals of laughter. heh.

participated in my first proper debate last week, and the motion was: AMDs raise more ethical difficulties than help resolve them. the third year team was the opposition and it was one heck of an experience preparing for it. i had forgotten the thrill of being in a debate of any sort, the last of which was an informal one during english class in secondary school. i thought our team did well (duh) but in the end we lost to the fourth years. the best speaker came from our team, and i think there was no doubt that she deserved it. she simply blew the house away with her eloquence and conviction.

and now, reviews. first off, my fair lady. having watched the movie after psle, i had high expectations of the musical, but it seems that the stage version doesn't quite match up to the celluloid one. for starters it was pretty long - the first act was nearly over an hour and a half, and there was too much dialogue in between the songs. a large part of the dialogue was carried out in the cockney accent, which made things worse. i'm not sure if it's the actors or the staging, but there was little hint of romance between professor higgins and eliza except when they sang the theme i could have danced all night. but individually, the actors were great and carried off their roles with flaire. still, i'd choose to watch the dvd anytime.

on wednesday i finally managed to watch the most iconic movie of 2006 - borat. to cut a long story short (blogger has refused to post my full length review of it) this movie is glorified slapstick. there -are- funny bits, like when he goes to the humour coach in new york, streaks through a convention in dallas and puzzles over how women are attracted to men by their cars at the car dealership. but there are the truly offensive and nonsensical parts where i don't see any satire or humour at all. take for instance the part where he goes to a church and feigns all that praying in tongues and falling. before that he is hosted to a dinner party by some alabama gentry and ends up bringing his poop to the table (because borat doesn't know that he's supposed to flush it down the toilet bowl) and inviting a hooker to the party. if there was any satire i didn't see it all, and i think there must be a less vulgar and more subtle way of doing it. but i agree that sacha baron cohen is a genius in creating this character many of us want nothing to do with, but whom we all want to watch in action because he does things we will never dream of doing.

was at the bishan library yesterday afternoon intending to go through my cofm notes (don't ask me why) when i stumbled upon augusten burrough's running with scissors, so i sat down with it and finished it in three hours, in between reading my notes of course. the book is an autobiographical account of burrough's childhood, where his alcoholic professor father and mentally unstable mother divorce, and he is left to be brought up by his mother's psychiatrist and his bizzare family. it is disturbing yet engaging, and i still find it hard to believe that anyone could have that kind of childhood. nearly everyone in his adopted family suffers from a mental condition of some sort, and there are absolutely no rules in the household. the psychiatrist, dr finch, eventually becomes augusten's legal guardian but does nothing to fulfill that role, even allowing him to have a physical relationship with one of his male patients and helping him quit school in the most unethical way. meanwhile his mother goes on to have lesbian relationships with a minister's wife and a girl half her age. the movie, starring annette benning, joseph fiennes and gwyneth paltrow, will be released in singapore soon and has been banned in malaysia for its strong themes.

what will the next fortnight bring? i initially thought that finding out i had done poorly on my pharmacology test was the worst thing that could happen this week, but that was before i heard that an acquaintance has just lost a family member to cancer. it's things like these which force us to hit the 'reset' button for our priorities, and it's sad that we need drastic events to make us do it.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

it's times like these when i feel like running away, and wished that the rain would wash away the things i didn't want.

sure. fine. whatever.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

so..it's a new year so there're new beginnings. this past week there were several firsts - first time to a paint factory, first formal debate, first time knocking on doors to do surveys, and the first time i've been told to do a lower level exam rather than a higher level one, although i was quite relieved at that last one.

here is one touching article from the latest issue of the sma news. have a look at the last two issues too, because there have been several articles written by fellow medical students. heh.

lunar new year is coming, and so is the season of exams. woohoo.

Monday, January 08, 2007

dilemmas, confusion, uncertainties.

they come in all shapes and sizes, and pop up at the most unexpected times. some i foresaw but tried to ignore, others came as a complete surprise, but all have one thing in common - they involve a clash of the heart and mind.

today there were five things pulling me in different directions, and for a while i was lost, totally scattered and absolutely shell-shocked. to everyone who noticed and showed your care in some way or another, thank you.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

just remembered on seeing a friend's msn nickname that i'm j6 this year. whoa, getting old no? jc and secondary school all seem to be in the distant past...

two days in, and cofm posting has so far been slack. i even had time to learn how to play this card game called munchkins. it's hilarious and, dare i say it, very much like real life because you can attack a player who's trying to save someone else, and you can wrangle deals with people. suddenly wished i've got a set too. heh.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

what a relief it was to be able to hand in the cofm report. it's been bugging me ever since i started to work on it, and each time i looked at it, i felt the need to change something. so i'm glad it's finally over and i can focus on the big project.

countdown this time was uneventful since i spent it at home. there really wasn't very much on the telly, and the local countdown show was such a pain to watch - gurmit singh singing the black eyed peas, the girls from singapore idol doing an excruciating imitation of the pussycatdolls, and local artistes making appearances to plug their new albums. what a way to end the year.

2006 was a good year, with lots of wonderful, exciting and new things happening. here's to the new year, and may it be more fulfilling, beautiful and delightful.

once again, it's time to start afresh.